A Call to Quit


  SEEING that his audiences were becoming smaller every Sunday, a 
Minister of the Gospel broke off in the midst of a sermon, 
descended the pulpit stairs, and walked on his hands down the 
central aisle of the church.  He then remounted his feet, ascended 
to the pulpit, and resumed his discourse, making no allusion to the 
incident.

  "Now," said he to himself, as he went home, "I shall have, 
henceforth, a large attendance and no snoring."

  But on the following Friday he was waited upon by the Pillars of 
the Church, who informed him that in order to be in harmony with 
the New Theology and get full advantage of modern methods of Gospel 
interpretation they had deemed it advisable to make a change.  They 
had therefore sent a call to Brother Jowjeetum-Fallal, the World-
Renowned Hindoo Human Pin-Wheel, then holding forth in Hoopitup's 
circus.  They were happy to say that the reverend gentleman had 
been moved by the Spirit to accept the call, and on the ensuing 
Sabbath would break the bread of life for the brethren or break his 
neck in the attempt.